some risks

about 5 days ago, i had my first prenatal check-up (pnc). i was alone because rey went to Manila to process some papers. we initially planned to be together on my first pnc however due to the hypogastric discomfort that i felt, i decided to go with it without him. my obstetrician is a friend and mentor, dr. Q decided i should have a transvaginal utz (tvs) and we scheduled it that afternoon. i was a bit afraid of what the results could be but at the same time i was excited. dr. Q said the baby is there with a heartbeat but there's subchorionic hemorrhage and poor decidualization...i was downhearted. i was advised to have complete bed rest for at least 2 weeks then we need to repeat the utz to see if i can go back to work after that. i was also given some medication which i am taking religiously.

after the utz, i went home with a headache that's so unbearable (probably from caffeine withdrawal or tension or migraine but more like a combination of all). it was followed with severe bouts of vomiting and epigastric pain that was so severe i was crying already. come to think of it, i was there alone. i tried sending a text message to my husband who was still in Manila then but i can't even open my eyes due to the pain. i was able to talk to him some 6 hours later. luckily, he was able to get a ticket back to dumaguete the following day.

when he arrived, his kalbaryo started (hahaha..that's his line). i started ordering him to do this and that. in fairness to him, he did not complain during the first 2 days but in the days that followed he told me we should get a helper. hahaha...poor husband. actually, he got mad after i made him cook something but when it was served i told him i don't like what he cooked. there's a lot more of the "tortures" i know that my husband is suffering right now. but i can't blame myself. could be the hormones plus the fact that my back and sacrum aches already from being glued to bed for 6 days now. wow. 8 days more....i tried going to the bathroom after my second day of bed rest and took a bath there. however, i had some vaginal spotting which added to my complicated bed rest..

right now, i just find joy in my coming baby and i am making myself busy with surfing and reading and watching tv (when the waves of nausea aren't there to attack me). hopefully, we'll be able to get through this...

this is our first after 4 long years of waiting. there is that risk of losing though i'm so afraid to admit it...but come to think of it, the Lord granted our prayers to have a baby and i'm thankful for that. come what may, the fact remains that there is that one Being who listens.....